Fuck Love… Where the Hoes At?

You fucking cock sucking motherfucker!

I have always been there….Stupid me… Always there when everyone else in this cruel world deserted you… 14 years I have always "held you down" you sorry sack of shit!

I was a child! A 16 year old adolescent that had my youth robbed by those "trips"… Years… years spent missing on "once in a lifetime" experiences… years of back and forth to the places that the scum of the earth go to be punished… you were never scum to me… simply misunderstood…. So I allowed revolting sex-deprived men disguised as "guards" to fondle my young tender body each week … for you… to show you that I understood….

Unconditional, infinite love… The kind of love that poets whisper about with tears in their eyes… I gave you every part of my being with no limitations… you were my world… I would have laid down and died for you… many of times I've tried to die because of you… remember the scars

You didn't deserve me… were never worthy of the type of loyalty that I possessed for you. You lied, you cheated, you deceived… no remorse… you never deserved anything more than a $2.00 whore with a wasteland pussy… but I never cared what you deserved…I gave you me… all of the wonderment that is me.

The women… so many women… taunting me… fucking you… laughing at me… sucking you… so many women… I was not enough…I was only one woman… you enjoyed so many women…

I cooked meals that Rachel Ray would be jealous of, sucked and fucked you as if Pinky herself had trained me in the art of sex, washed your dirty draws… your nasty fucking cum filled draws that laid there as you committed your countless infidelity… I treated you as a king... I was your minion…. You conniving little bitch!

Long nights waiting up, calls unanswered… sleepless, miserable lonely nights spent crying as if my heart was shattered by Luke Skywalker's light saber and thrown over Narnia… Thoughts clouded with tears… I was never dumb… I always knew… knew exactly what you were doing…never knew exactly who you were doing it with…. You enjoyed so many women

Three o'clock rides…. Cold, despondent and exhausted… 5 months, 6 months, 7 months pregnant with our child… I rode… straight to her house… your "crazy ex" that you hate because she is a trifling piece of shit… parked in front, staring at your truck until daylight burns my face…

I cried and rocked uncontrollably as I am introduced to the most beautiful baby boy… 5 months older than the most beautiful baby girl that I held in my arms and rocked so hard, our baby girl… I sob as I am introduced to your son, her brother… your son that was made with "her"… "crazy ex" … that beautiful baby boy that was created while I sat outside, staring at your truck until sunlight burned my face….

I stayed… I remained… As everyone points and taunts and laughs and jests… I am stupid they say... I am weak they say… I am crazy they say… I do not flinch… I am in love… I forgive… 14 years of forgiveness… I stayed…

Things tend to get complicated… even "sticky situations" have a tendency to get tackier… You have been getting better… haven't you?... you haven't… another beautiful male creature that possesses your name… and your DNA… and the genetic makeup of your "crazy ex" aka "baby mama"… I love you.. I swear I do… I will always love you …but (there is always a "but")… but I have to see what else this world offers… you have too many pulls ups and sippy cups in your world… I love you… but I must explore…

Way of the world, tables turn, I am hurting you… I don't do it intentionally… Maybe I no longer love you… maybe I love you more… I am hurting you and I hate it… so I stop… see how easy that was…

We are destined to be together… all the heartache cannot be in vain!?!!! … Can it? .... It can't… so it is decided… we are destined to be together… Love conquers all… right?.... right?

Until …." I gotta come clear with something I have just discovered- well about 3 months ago I was served for my DNA for a child I had no idea of and my results came back a lil over a week ago… the child is mine. So with that being said I fucked over you again hunh?" ~J.W.

My love! My dear sweet love! My love whom I have loved since I was a child… my love whom I have declared my soul mate… my love whose last name I have dreamed of owning… my loveeeeeee………………… FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU BITCH…

 

~Viola Willis

Ms. Monroe… After Dark!

You know, a lot of dudes think my blog is about them… but this is not to get confused… this ones for you *drizzy voice*….

Two weeks, 3 days and 8 hours… it is our routine… historically, absence makes the heart grow fonder… in our case absence makes the pussy much wetter and the dick much harder…

I am beginning to feel the pressure… I could always call in a "pinch hitter" (excuse the pun)… I could… but I won't… I won't because I want "that nigga"… he owns my body because he owns my mind… he owns my mind because he possesses my heart… I NEED "that nigga"…

Two naturally prideful creatures… an equation for pandemonium… I will never acknowledge the control he has over me, his invisible reigns that have taken hold of every portion of my being… I am prideful… Hell would freeze over and pigs would do the Dougie before my bullheaded, pompous lover would admit his astonishment at my abyss of endless moisture and his amazement at my expertise in pleasure… he is prideful…

Two weeks, 3 days and 8 hours without him has weakened my pride, my stubbornness deteriorated…. It is said that men think with two heads… the wonderful woman thinks with one head that is always dominated by two lips… Fuck that additional X chromosome that forces me into cold sweats and slow leaks from missing him…

The secret code is sent… "Cum over"… I don't wait for a reply… he will come… he will come because I will ensure that he will cum… I imagine his dick hardening as he reads it… a wonderful image of flesh and ink flashes across my overactive, libido driven mind… He will come… he will cum….

Like clockwork he enters…. Our relationship entitles him to no knocks, an unspoken privilege… A perfectionist, an artist, he must paint my world many hues of purple before we reunite… it is a tradition, a ritual, an act that we have always shared, an unspoken privilege…

He is not a romantic, never was much of a gentleman… but these times are always special… I am always delicately handled during preparation; possibly because of the enjoyable abuse he is soon to make me endure... he grabs my hand and leads me to our first erotic arena

No lights, Hot shower, No clothes, hot bodies… My maddening undressing is halted… this is where he takes over… how dare I try to reveal those beautiful breast and that smooth gleaming pussy in such a rush… giving him no time to adore the art that is I… HOW DARE I!.… he is an artist… he enjoys peeling off layers of distractive pieces of clothing to reveal his uninhibited masterpiece… I mimic his actions…. Each undressing the other in perfect synchrony… we are meant…

I prematurely assumed this shower to be a delusion reverie of sex… silly me… I have forgotten the love/hate relationship I have come to form with his taunting ways…. I know that he wants me… I see that he wants me… That emptiness between my two cheeks slowly being filled by his nudging stiffness makes me feel that the wants me… All lips begging for him to make me his sex slave… "FUCK ME"!

Of course he would giggle the very second I feel the first stages of deliria setting in… And just like that, he gives me what I want… grabs me by my hair and turns me to face him… kisses my lips with such force that I knew to shut up, with such force that I had no will other than to succumb to him…he proceeds to place every 11.5 inches of what seems to be the greatest object of pleasure, takes that caramel bliss and fills me with him…. The fit is perfect… our bodies tailored…. Grabs my ass and lifts me to his eye level, my legs wrapped around his waist as he forcefully thrust his way in and out of my soul… he gives me what I want…but not for long….

I know better than to bust now…. I refuse to let him see me break before him… I am woman, hear me ROAR!... Awww, aaaaahhhhh, oooohhhhh… I am woman… aaahhhhh… he makes me purr… His win is confirmed as the hold around his waist is tightened by the intensity of the moment… He mentally gives himself a point as he feels my lovely thighs glide slowly away from him… holds me close to him for I am frail… softly washes eucalyptus mint into my pores… gently dries me between mocking nips and kisses… and carries me to ecstasy island dos…

We enter into our cavern… "where the magic happens"… such a flippant statement being so true… his preshow was nice… I always did like that about him, he is a show-off… I gave him that battle… it is now time for me to take over the war… I assume the position… captainette of that fucking boat *another pun for that ass*… reminds him why its "not nice" to tease… soft kisses, nibbles, soft marks from passionate sucking… my lips inspect his body as he tries to hide his squirming… and just as it seems that he will be washed in wave of insanity I throw him into the asylum and takes his dick in my mouth… no hands… he always said hands were for the unskilled

He melts in the depths of my throat… He stares at me lovingly as I adore the flavorful fruits that are his loins… Every few moments I take my eyes away from my magical lips and glance at him… His face painted with surrender… The boost to my ego makes me love him with my mouth more… and more… and more… until I my mouth is so full I am no longer breathing... living off of his decadence… I slowly torture him as I remove his lingam from my mouth… the powerful sucks reduced to a final kiss on the tip of his dick….

He is not to be outdone… he returns the favor… flips me over until my yoni covers his face… my clit slowly being nibbled… separating my delicate lips with his wonderful tongue… proving his love through passionate pecks… "I love you" spoken in a raspy whisper… stop… Please DON'T STOP… he eats my pussy as if there is nothing more tasteful in this world… consumes my pussy as if it is from the fruit of life… I am his eve…

The purple, the heat in the room, the fact that we are both at the threshold of ecstasy…I need him in me... he knows me so well… he comes up for breath, lays me across the bed and begins to fulfill our destiny as he enters me with such passion and force that my world begins to spin… no more room for gentleness… I am fucked hard… I beg to be fucked harder… in… out… I am not lazy… I fuck him back… our bodies moving as one… a well oiled machine… positions fluidly ever changing… My pussy tightens as I flip him over… tightens to ensure that there is not a moment that I am left unfulfilled… I ride him as if he is a prized bull… I become a jockey to this stallion of a man… fuck him sooooo hard…. Make him fuck me even harder… "HARDER DADDIE"… "FUCK ME HARDER!"…. my pussy is soooooo wet… I am weeping… tears of a painful pleasure that has completely withdrawn me from me element… we love, fuck, own each other as if we never want it to end… neither wanting to give into the apocalypse that is inevitable.. sucking, fucking, fuck yous, I love yous… it all becomes too much… it has to end … neither of us caring about defeat… we have both given in to the other… white flags raised we give in… I came… he came… I knew he would cum…

~Viola Monroe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prejudice Perspective

Perspective, the subconscious subjective mental representation of a subject, person, place or thing…. Prejudice, impulsively judging a situation based on immediate thoughtless perspective… prejudice perspective, evaluating one based on what your eye grasps with no rational reasoning involved, a linear, biased sight… creating a persona based on my clothes, my immediate actions , my spur of the moment spoken words… you think you know me…. But really, do you have any mutha… fucking…idea?

My smile fools you… swindles your wit with its candy syrup sweetness… "Why?" you marvel… why is that bitch always so happy? This cheerful bitch HAS to be weak… or psychotic. Yet, it is my smile, that sultry expression that one prematurely perceives as happiness, that small emotional element that is my fatal "secret weapon" one always speaks of but never reveals. That smirk, nothing more than a façade for the deadly venom that seeps through my pores and shines through my Oooohhh Baby MAC lipglass. My lips do not allow any hint of pain or weakness to seep through… it is our animalistic nature to prey on the weak. Only the strong survive in this dog eat dog arena… therefore, I am perpetually armed with my smile…Let it fool you… you fucking fool.

My uncultivated and wild actions are whispered about… I party too hard; I drink too much; my mind is constantly clouded with desolate thoughts and the smoke of greatness… What a dumb slut. You know me so well, my priorities are fucked up you say… I am a sorry ass parent, a horrible worker, a fuck up of a daughter… you are not my creator, yet obviously my principal judger… Never mind the fact that my child-like habits, my sense of irresponsibility, my disturbing unruliness may have stemmed from forced entry into adulthood, you don't care that at 7 years of age, instead of playing with Barbie and practicing ballerina steps, I was raising 2 other siblings and nursing my battered mothers wounds, at 10 it became 4 siblings and more wounds from an even more abusive monster. It doesn't matter to you that I have watched my brothers and sisters being locked up, addicted to the streets, die to the streets… siblings that I have nurtured as if they were borne of my own womb have been taken away from me before I was old enough to purchase the poison I now consume on a daily to stifle the pain… how could you know this… maybe you don't care…

You fuck faces watch my every move, stare in disgust as I refuse to be bound by any type of unpromising relationship, watch as I date different men on different days, never the same, always different… yet your thought process remains the same, your dense little intellect always develops the same conclusion… you whore, you fucking promiscuous slore!..Your little pea brain is inept to question my actions, to wonder why I am incapable of stability or commitment, to miniscule to even consider the possibility that my heart is not black, yet extremely delicate…. You don't stop to speculate at what man miffed my heart, abandoned my emotions and seized my will to commit… are you so simpleminded that you do not comprehend that I am the victim of a broken heart, a wounded soul set to permanent defense mode, forever moving at the speed of light to avoid the heart wrenching pain that once almost diminished me to oblivion …

You look at my ripe breast sitting high, overpowering a small, thin piece of cloth that couldn't possibly tame the wildness hidden deep in my bosom, you stare at this flesh and your mind deciphers that I am nothing more than a "floozy", you reduce me to a banging ass body with the mental capacity of a flea…. Your cognition is not keen enough to fathom that such a tactless display of beauty could possibly conceal the intellect of Albert Einstein, the wisdom of Socrates and the creativity of Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni. Does it make you feel superior… this foolish bigotry, this ignorant chauvinism…. does it titillate your small dick and dry pussy to paint me as a vagabond, a miscreant, rubbish amongst men… is that your sick little fetish? Wait, Don't answer that, because frankly my dear I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FOREIGN FUCK… you have not walked a centimeter in the four inch stilettos that I wear oh so well… you will never understand why… never comprehend my greatness… will never know the pleasure of being able to appreciate the awesomeness that is ME… flaws and all.

 

~Viola Monroe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prison Promises

Dear mama,

What can I say? I fucked up… again. You warned me, every day, I was living too fast. You told me to get a job, a legit one. Time and time again you warned me. But you know me mom, I have a hard head, I'm a rebel, I'm used to handling shit "MY" way. I now see what you were talking about. It was the money... I always wanted to give you what you have given all your sons… the world. I went about it the wrong way and you saw that. I never made enough time for you, missed the moments that you needed me mentally, sacrificed such moments to ensure that I could set you up financially. All you wanted was to see me be the man that you knew I could be… you always saw my greatness. I never got the chance to tell you how much I thank you… thank you for now, thank you for last time, thank you forever. That six years you did with me last time was rough on you and you said you would never do it again. This time my time has doubled and I am sure so has your pain… but you have been there the whole way… you have taught me the meaning of loving unconditionally. When I come home I promise I will be the son you always wanted me to be… I will work harder, actually listen and take head to the knowledge that you share, and cherish the time that I have with you as if it were my last. I promise. Kiss my kids and my nieces and nephews for me. I love you!

 

Yo my nigga,

So I'm back at it again. After all the shit we been through together, all the clubs we've shut down together, all the bitches we've fucked, all the money we've made… all that nothing more than a memory now. I got your last kite several months ago and I'm wondering why I haven't heard from you since then and you haven't been up here to see me since I've been in this hell hole. I remember we used to ride smoking a blunt talking shit about if one of us would ever get caught up in this system again. You always promised to look after my kids as if they were your own should something happen to me, you always talking shit about keeping my commissary stacked so a nigga could be fresh behind these walls. Talked to my kids' mothers the other day and they say they seen you shining on them 20s… you doing it hunh my nigga. But my kids still need school shoes… and I ain't seen no money come through on my end from you. A man has nothing more than his word to stand by… you taught me that…. Guess you crawling now. When I touch I promise we shall meet again… this time it will be different…. Loyalty is our highest honor… that's my last lesson to you… it's been real.

 

Hey boo,

I got your letter last night. I must say I am happy as a bitch that you still holding it down for a nigga. I know I always told you I was gone leave my girl for you and despite everything you always believed me. Girl you had some of the best pussy and head that a nigga ever had… how could a nigga not want to keep you in his life! So you saw one of my trifling ass baby mamas in the club hunh? You said y'all was beefed out but I am not sure why. After my old lady found out that trifling bitch was pregnant again she ain't never wrote a nigga since. She posted those pictures to make sure my girl would leave me while I was in this bitch. That evil ass hoe just want a nigga to be lonely and do this bid on his own. Anyways, fuck her ma, she ain't shit, plus I don't want shit getting back to Viola about y'all fighting because the she gone swear that I'm still fucking with both of y'all. Don't take that the wrong way bae… you still may baby, always will be… but she has my daughter and is handling all my legal shit while I'm in this joint. I just don't wanna make that bitch mad again and then she flight on a nigga like she did before. You know she be dropping a nigga change and coming up and here with my baby girl and shit... I need that right now. You asked if I would add you to my visitors list. I would sweetheart but you not family so they won't let us have a face to face, not to mention I don't want that crazy bitch coming up here and seeing you and causing a scene. Just hold a nigga down like you been doing and when I get home I promise I will repay you. I promise this time around I will make you my girl. I promise I will finally get the nuts to leave my family, my home, the bitch that has been down with me for over a decade, going home to my beautiful baby girl…I promise I will give all that up to be with you.

 

Viola,

My dear… How have you been? I finally got your letter and I hate that you take so long to write me back. I know you said you stopped clubbing and shit but every time you pull your lil disappearing act I can't help but think that you out bopping or fucking some other nigga while your husband is in this bitch stressing. You asked if I had yet seen my new son. I'm not gone lie ma, yes, my mama sent me pictures of him. But no I ain't NEVER talked to his mama and I wish you would stop asking about her ass. I know when I was home I was fucking up… always in the club, fucking this bitch and that bitch, fucked up and got my baby mama pregnant again… but I always came home to you and my baby girl. You are my wife, y'all are my family and I love y'all more than life itself. I fucked up before and at this point I can't do shit but apologize and do shit the right way when I come home to my baby girls. Remember you used to stay up until 4 am waiting for me to finally come through the door. You would always jump down a nigga throat, practically smell my dick, call me everything but a child of God… ma you would go nuts on a nigga. But you always calmed down, cook me my scrambled eggs while I took a shower (you used to always have my towels out waiting for me), then you would make love to me like a king… you always treated me like a king. Baby when I get home I promise you will be my queen, my one and only, my wife, my everything! I promise ma… I PROMISE!

 

~Viola Monroe

Heartbreak Hotel

You… something special about you from the moment of our initial encounter… your smile brighter than most, words so clever and witty, a body that I imagined licking, washing, fucking…. you were an amazing creature at first sight… a force to be reckoned with….
I let you in… I had to…. I could not imagine life without you in it, even if for a moment, but praying for forever…. My mind knew this was a bad idea… but that bitch heart of mine gets what she wants… she wanted you… I needed you… I got you.
You made me love you… the way you spoke my name, as if your lips were created to utter none other than the appellation my mother bestowed on me at birth… your kisses, that covered my lips, my pussy, my forehead, those kisses sweeter than pure cane sugar … the way you entered into my treasured juicy vulva with such force, dominating what was yours and giving the most pleasurable pain… as you spoke my name in that way that makes my pussy pour and conquered my lips with those kisses… those damn kisses… You made me love you.
I surrendered… you had it all… my all…. There was never a "too much" clause in my love when it came to you… no limits were set, fuck boundaries and restrictions … I never wanted to stop loving you…. My love growing with every second that passed, every breath taken, every palpitation of my heart… white flag raised I ran into the flames, all warning signs ignored as I did 100 to your heart
I gave you my all…. You wanted more… maybe you wanted different… fuck!, what did you want?!!! You compromised my soul, my happiness, my trust, my love for????…..see that's the part that fucks me up most…the unanswered questions, the wondering, the excruciating pondering….
I am unable to concentrate… words read are nothing more than scribblings with no rhyme or reason in my current state…
My eyes more red than the flames emitted from the inferno of the devil…. I have cried as if I have come face to face with Lucifer himself…
I can speak; yet, the sounds that my mouth creates can hardly be described as speaking, but as cries of agony that I am unable to formulate into an articulate thought… like nails against a chalkboard…
My confidence, my aura of extreme self-worth diminished in a wave of sadness as I walk with my head low and my heart heavy… each pained step leading me deeper into the personal hades my mind has fashioned…
I am alive… technically, my veins still pump the blood that my pathetic heart needs to survive, my pulse is still seen through my wrists, my breathing remains, unsteady and raspy, yet breathing none the less… I am alive, physically…
This state has reduced me to nothing more than a functional body… my heart has shut down, ran way and taken my mind along for the ride…
I set myself up for this… my heart has abandoned me with no remorse as I am she who is liable for this torture… I allowed you to do this to me… I gave you my all… you took my everything… you fucking bastard….
I am sure to love again…. My heart is stubborn and she wants what she wants… I am sure to make the same mistake twice, three times, maybe four… in the future my soul will once again be offered to the unknown… someday this pain will be nothing more than a miserable dream that runs across my memory at the speed of light….until then I am gone… *lights spliff*….checked into this raggedy fucking hell hole… heartbreak hotel….

 
~Viola Monroe